Idea that needs a plot

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Idea that needs a plot

Post by Guest on Mon Aug 08, 2011 5:48 pm

Hi I have a idea of a Fire Horse Wars topic but need some help forming a plot, one of the stallions will look like this~

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Re: Idea that needs a plot

Post by Guest on Mon Aug 08, 2011 6:35 pm

Ok it's slowly coming together~

The mare got up and nuzzled her new born filly, "Watch her (Undecided name.) " She said before turning and walking out of the cave. She walked for awhile, burnt hoof prints in the grass behind her. The unxspetid was about to happen.

When she reached a creak her head lowered and she drank but stopped and her head shot up as she heard the thundering noise of hoofs behind her then saw a orange flash across the creak. She heard some one run up behind her then stop, "Hello Maydeen." (May Dean) His voice bellowed. She turned around to see her worse night mare, she knew she had to get him as far away from her child as she could.

Blank


Blank


Blank

She took her last breath as she watched the pool of blood surround her, her life flashed before her and her greatest worry was *What will happen my daughter?* Then the world went black and nothing more. Her murder stood above her while the thunder storm went on. From the distance you could see a black figure standing above a laying figure. The stallion then turned and ran down the mountain side.


Her daughter (Me) ~


(Ok so they fight and stuff and the mare all most wins but losses, it is a incomplete part but it'll come to me.)

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Re: Idea that needs a plot

Post by Emoticon on Mon Aug 08, 2011 7:02 pm

How about for the watcher, Zafina?(Sa-Fien-A) I got something else after that part

The stallion slowly approached, A Smirk playing across his face. "Don't you know? Its dangerous for Mares to be all out alone, where no one can hear you scream." The dark stallion says, stepping closer. Maydeen felt a chill crawl up her spine as the stallion approached, getting closer and closer. "Don't come near me!" She said, lashing out with her forelegs. He dodged with lightening speed, not even getting a scratch. "Darling, calm down. It will be nights out for you." He said, Maydeen felt at the peak of her fear. "Get away from me!" She yelled, then passed his side and tried to escape. She felt something slam into her barrel as she struggled for control. She only saw a glimpse of the horse before she was slammed into a tree. "Maydeen, Why fight? Your death has already been decided, don't make it quicker." He teased, then smacked her in the shoulder. She felt blood on her skin as she flinched, and revived another wound on her rump. "Don't worry, Your death will be longer then you think." His malicious smile played across his lips as he mounted her, unsheathing his tool and ramming into her. She spread her legs to take on the stallions weight as the stallion painfully entered her. "You only make it worse if your struggle." He said, as he slammed into her harder, and she felt blood tickle down her back leg. She held her breath as the stallion made another painful entrance, then sliced her back with a hoof. Her mind was mixed with pains she began to feel numb. He entered another time, blood spilling down her leg. She struggled to keep herself from falling as the stallion sliced her leg, blood falling everywhere. She felt another painful entrance, ripping into her. Blood was steadily pouring down from her leg as she felt him realese his seed. "You Bustard." She made before she slowly got up and walked away, and began running. "I told you, Now you die." That was the last thing she heard as she felt something slam her legs off the ground, twisting them. She felt a hoof on her face, as it started to bleed. She felt scrapes all over her, as her legs where just sliced up. They were so painful she couldn't feel her legs, and she couldn't stand up. She then felt a hoof slice her chest, blood escaping from her mouth. He finished her with a kick to the belly, causing another slice and another gush of blood. She felt numb and cold as the stallion stared into her eyes. "Bye Bye, Maydeen." He said, as greyness clouded her vision. What about the foal? What would happen? Would she be safe?
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Re: Idea that needs a plot

Post by Guest on Mon Aug 08, 2011 7:14 pm

Wow that's really good!I just need to figure out how the war started (Because the horse that killed her was in the war against her, then struck out when she was week.) and how MayDean's daughter will fit in and stuff because after that 1st part I'll make a line then the Wright about her daughter fully grown charging the enamey army.

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Re: Idea that needs a plot

Post by Azeri on Tue Aug 09, 2011 8:54 am

Nice idea! Hmm...I might have a few vague scenarios to toss out there.

Ways war could have been started:

1. Perhaps the mother who was killed owned a vast expanse of land that the enemy side wanted to conquer.
2. There could have been conflict in the past. Such as the mare and stallion being in love, something could've gone wrong in between their relationship such as stallion seeking more power e.t.c that could have escalated into both sides taking opposite stands.
3. Shift of power
4. Opposed view points

Daughter :

The daughter might have grown up with an extreme thirst for vengeance, she could possibly have trained alongside other stallions or wandered the country side homing her skills to face her mother's killer in combat. Cause for charging could be avenging her mother's death...bringing justice e.t.c

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Re: Idea that needs a plot

Post by Guest on Tue Aug 09, 2011 9:45 am

Nice! You gave my the idea of two kingdoms (Tho it sounds wearied) Of fire horses, both with great power and lots of land. One kingdom was kind, how ever the other had a greedy king who wanted all the land and power.


How the war started:
No body really knows, but it was to do with the past...Neater sides have letted go and now that a greedy stud has took charge what will happen?

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Re: Idea that needs a plot

Post by Azeri on Tue Aug 09, 2011 9:53 am

Sounds good ^_^


Let me see

Greedy ruler has take charge which mean Desire > Ambition > Lust for Power > Lust for power = Risking it all obtain more power and/or wealth. Ruler could be provoking opposite side into war by over-stepping boundaries, or another realistic concept is population explosion on one side leading to a land shortage. Perhaps desire for expansion has led 'enemy' side to start invading outskirts of 'good' side.
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Re: Idea that needs a plot

Post by Guest on Tue Aug 09, 2011 10:09 am

Ooo an invasion, that sounds gooood!

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Re: Idea that needs a plot

Post by Emoticon on Tue Aug 09, 2011 12:56 pm

Hmm, Maybe She was a maiden of rebels from the kingdom, and she causes war?
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